There are three main reasons most people don’t refer to an agent (or any sales person) they used in the past to represent them in future transactions. The agent didn’t do a good job, the agent didn’t stay in contact or the home buyer or seller knows WAY too much about the agent’s personal life.  One of the biggest mistakes an agent can make when cultivating a relationship with a client or potential client is to share their dirty laundry and present themselves in a less than professional manner.  By the way, you have control over all three of these issues.
Clients will rarely tell you how they truly feel about you and your actions while they are dependent on you getting their transaction closed.  When the client signs a listing or contract with an agent, the relationship becomes more intimate and trust must be maintained. How many professionals get a key to their client’s homes and unlimited access to their personal belongings and life? They will graciously listen to hard luck life stories about impending divorces or custody battles and tolerate the agent showing up late (or not at all) for an open house 3 times in a row because they couldn’t find child care.

They are even gracious enough to engage in negative conversations with the agent to keep them happy. One client went so far as to loan their agent $5,000 against her commissions to help her get admitted into drug and alcohol rehab. That agent still owes that client to this day…5 years later.

The sad part is that the agent believes they have made lifelong friends and confidants and reads the client’s gracious tolerance as acceptance of their behavior when in reality, behind closed doors; the clients are rolling their eyes and praying for the end of the transaction.  Once they close, they will never call the agent again and never speak their name unless it is to speak poorly of them.  Here are some REAL things a few agents have done.  Some obvious and some extremely embarrassing for the client. Granted, some lifelong relationships have developed from a client/service provider experience but they are very rare.  Also, some clients are much more tolerant than others.  The agent’s job is not to assume anything, provide exceptional service and behave as if cameras and microphones are on them at all times. 

Think back in your career and try to remember if you ever did any of these things and whether or not that client has ever used your services again.  These are some behaviors past clients have said were offensive but most never confronted their agent about them.

These are things some agents may not see as negative and that most clients would tolerate and even say yes when they would much rather say NO.

• Ask sellers to store and/or put out your open house signs.
• Ask sellers to provide refreshments for an open house.
• Bring a child(dren) along for a showing.
• Bring an animal along for a showing.
• Ask the client to open the house for a showing.
• Send a buyer on a showing without you.
• Ask to buy their furniture at a much discounted rate since they won’t “need” it when they move to a condo.
• Have other agents hold a house open. (get permission up front)
• Have other agents advertise the seller’s home (don’t know why this matters but it does to some sellers)
• Pick up buyers in a stinky dirty car. (smokers…this one was big)
• Ask buyers to go on errands with you between property showings.
• Ask the buyer to drive and pick you up at the office or home.
• Ask the client to fax, email, print or mail things for you.
• Basically, don’t ask the client to do anything they perceive as your “job” and assume it is ALL your job.
• Ask a client out on a date.
• Ask a client to babysit.
• Ask to borrow money.
• Share your personal health, relationship or financial issues.
• Speak poorly of another client, agent or a client’s family member (no matter what the client says about them).
• Ask to move into a vacant client listing while negotiating a divorce.
• Eat the client’s food or drink their liquor without permission.
• Use the client’s computer without permission even if it is for something to do with that client’s transaction.
• Pitch the client on a Network Marketing business.
• Drink alcohol in front of a client.
• Smoke while with a client or just before meeting with a client.
• Carry a concealed weapon into a client’s home or in your car.
• We should all know this one…. don’t talk politics or religion with clients.
• This one may sound petty to some, but don’t recommend any movies or books unless you are sure of the client’s position on a lot of issues.
• Over extend your stay.
• Talk on your cell phone while in a meeting with a client.

There are some much more serious infringements that are obvious abuses of the client/provider relationship.  I don’t think they need to be listed…use your imagination or recall some stories you have heard. 

On the flip side of all of this…clients can also create some of the above situations.  It is up to you what you tolerate but for repeat and referral business….mum’s the word and tolerance is the strategy in most situations.  Focus on the job to be done not the client behavior unless the behavior gets in the way of completing the transaction or your integrity and/or morals are compromised. In that case..drop them like a hot potato.  For instance, if a client asks you out on a date make  light of it and tell them you don’t mix business with pleasure but if you are staunchly against having weapons in your car or office (check with your Broker policy on this one)…don’t let a client in you space who has one and if they refuse to leave it behind, tell them you can’t represent them.

I would love to hear some of your stories even if they ended up being embarrassing for you or your client.  Just remain anonymous.  As a society, we are taught young to tolerate to keep the peace.  I remember, as a child, having to sit in a smoke filled car with all the windows up in the middle of winter and there was no negotiating that situation with my parents or whomever was in the car… You just tolerated it.